In our daily interactions, whether we’re mentoring a colleague, guiding a friend, or even giving directions to a stranger, the art of giving advice or passing on knowledge plays a crucial role. However, the way in which we deliver this advice, or knowledge, can make all the difference.
I’ve been seeing a lot of advice lately which focuses on the bad types of managers, the bad types of leader, the bad types of project management, the bad types of sponsor …. you get the picture. Somewhere it is implied that you need to watch out for, avoid, or actively manage these ‘bad’ examples. I think that if you read enough of these you will think that the world is only full on this type of person. You may also develop the belief that if you do the opposite of what the bad persons characteristics are, that this will mean you are doing ‘good’. This isn’t necessarily the case. The opposite of bad can actually be worse instead of good.
I appreciate that the authors of these pieces are genuinely trying to educate and pass on knowledge but there are much better ways to do this focussing on what is bad.
Imagine you’re lost in a city somewhere, and you ask a local for directions. If they spend 10 minutes explaining all the routes you shouldn’t take because of the bad things that can happen, you’ll probably be more confused than before, and not really know where to start. On the other hand, if they give you a clear and direct good route, with perhaps a brief mention of roads to avoid, you’ll be on your way in no time. The same principle should apply to the advice we give or receive in life.
Sure, it’s essential to be aware of potential pitfalls and challenges. It gives a realistic view of the situation at hand. But, when the narrative becomes solely about what not to do, it can create a sense of fear or anxiety. The person seeking or receiving the advice might become overly cautious, second-guessing every step, and missing out on potential opportunities.
On the flip side, focusing on the positive aspects, the ‘do’s rather than the ‘don’ts, can be empowering. It provides a clear path forward and encourages proactive action.
So maybe start to move away from a total focus on what’s bad, and start to focus on what’s good – there is a school of thought called Appreciative Inquiry that focusses on the positive and by repeating what is good hopes to crowd out the negative (very simple description btw).
Here are some benefits of being positive with your advice:
- Clarity and Direction: Just like letting people know the direct and ‘good’ route in my earlier example, positive advising offers a clear path. It’s easier to follow a roadmap of actionable steps than navigate a maze of warnings and what to avoid.
- Boosts Confidence: Hearing about the potential successes and best practices can instil confidence in people. It reassures them that they are capable of achieving their goals. Let them know that good exists and is possible.
- Promotes Optimism: A positive outlook can be contagious. By focusing on the good, you’re fostering an environment of optimism and encouraging others to adopt the same perspective.
- Builds Trust: When you offer constructive advice, it shows that you believe in the individual’s potential. This can strengthen your relationship and build trust.
While the emphasis should be on the positive, it’s also important to strike a useful balance. A brief mention of potential challenges or routes to avoid in any advice or learning can be beneficial. It ensures that people are well-informed and prepared for any eventuality.
So, the next time you find yourself in the role of the advisor or educator, or even LinkedIn influencer, remember the lost traveller metaphor. Guide people on the good route, highlight the positives, and watch them confidently go forward.
